A few weeks ago, I had a client call me in a panic.  "I cheated on you" she breathlessly proclaimed as she launched into a tale of woe about an experience with another tarot reader.  Cheating on me? That dramatic statement made me laugh but it got me wondering.  Why do clients go to other readers, especially if they claim to like your services?  Why do some leave, never to be heard of again?  And more importantly, what are my own feelings regarding "loyalty"?

A client may decide that they want to visit another reader for some of the following reasons:

1.  They want a second opinion.  Perhaps they are a Nervous Nelly  type that needs a lot of confirmation.  Or maybe they don't feel your read is accurate for them and may want to see if someone else says something more to their liking.  There are even a few that will go from reader to reader to reader - until they get the answer they want.  (This is rather obsessive in my opinion.)

2.  They may want to try something different.  I am mainly a tarot reader.  If someone is looking for deep chart analysis, past life regressions, mediums, dream interpretations or palmistry, they may be better off seeking the services of a specialist.  I am not all things to all people (I'd like to be, but am wise enough to know my own limits!).

3. They can't wait.  Oftentimes, my schedule is jam packed.  This can leave a client in a bad position if they need a reading pronto.  So, they may look around to find someone who is more available.  Also, a client who lives at a distance may want to meet with someone in their area.  If I could astral travel, I would - but that ain't happening.

Why would a client leave permanently? 

1.  Budget woes.  Whenever I raise my rates (which is rare),  there is always a little fallout.  People sometimes can't afford it - or feel angered that I am not at the prices I was at 20 years ago.  I had one lady yell at me and hang up the phone when I told her my new rates.  She never called again (although if she did, I would have fired her in a heartbeat!).

2.  Personality clashes.  I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going type.  But on occasion, a person may walk in the door and feel that I am not in sync with them.  And vice versa.  Pushy and aggressive types don't seem to stick around me very much (this makes me quite happy).  Super negative types also tend to slink away if I don't reinforce their crummy world view. On a few rare occasions, a client has suddenly become super religious and decided I was "evil".  That pretty much nipped any relationship we had in the bud.

3. You offended them. This can happen quite innocently.  The reading starts off fine but all of a sudden, you drop an F bomb or say something that  makes the client squirm.  Remember the androgynous SNL character, Pat? Well, I had one sit in front of me when I was reading at an occult shop years ago.  For some puzzling reason that I still cannot fathom, I opened my mouth and these words tumbled out before I could catch myself  "What are you?".  She was a she - and she had a great sense of humor about it but was obviously deeply hurt by my remark.  I recovered and did a decent reading but she never came to see me again. I would run into her in the shop, we'd nod but pretty much avoid each other.  Politics and religious talk can also alienate clients - so you may need to keep some of your beliefs to yourself.

4.  Your reading sucked.  You may think you are a tarot superstar but sooner or later, you'll run into that one person you couldn't read.  And yup, to them, your reading was "way off" or "crappy". This is a huge blow to the ego but it happens to all of us.  You can't read for everyone.  There are lots of reasons why this could happen - an off day, a lack of vibe between you, they may be closed minded, etc. And some people will think you stink even if you are accurate because they simply don't want to believe.  Get over it. 

How to handle it? 

The first thing to learn: don't take anything personally.  This requires a lot of inner work and a good dose of humility.  And I don't mean false humility: the "it's not me, only spirit doing the readings through me" statements that are so frequently tossed about.  I mean REAL soul searching humility that requires you to take responsibility for your readings. Realize your own limitations as a reader and be realistic about your client's needs.  Know that you will at times offend, disappoint, piss off and even do a poor job.  This comes with ANY profession.  Let go, brush yourself off, laugh and move on.

Secondly, practice the law of non-grasping.  This simply means that you must acknowledge that your clients have free will and don't owe you anything.  Respect them as independent, intelligent human beings who will always know what is in their OWN best interest.  If they are not happy with your services, recommend them to someone that may be a better fit.  This is not only good for them but for YOU. 

I've been grateful over the years for the many clients that continue to use my services.  Some have been with me since my humble beginnings almost 20 years ago.  I am always thankful for their support. A few have even become dear friends.  But I am equally appreciative for the ones who have taught me lessons and made me learn the art of non-attachment.  I go with the flow and could not have learned to do this without them. 

Blessings!
Theresa
www.thetarotlady.com

Watch for "You Don't Own Me Part Two - When To Fire A Client" soon!

©The Tarot Lady | Theresa Reed

Image from onmypaper.wordpress.com/