Any kind of psychic work is bound to attract some strange clientele. On rare occasion, a reading may start out innocently enough but quickly turn ugly. What do you do when a client freaks out on you or starts acting in a manner that is troubling? Here are some sound strategies to consider:
1. Don’t take it personally – Sometimes people are looking for a dumping ground. It may be triggered by something you said in your reading – it may have nothing whatsoever to do with the reading. Do not attach yourself to the client’s issues or reactions. Remain neutral. Do your work from a centered place. When the client is gone, let the reading go. Sometimes a client may even want to blame you if they are having problems. Remember that this is THEIR issue – don’t own it.
2. Set a strong boundary – Don’t do a reading for a client if they are in a distressed state. Chances are, they won’t hear what you say anyway. If a client appears addictive (yes, people can become addicted to psychics), you may want to tell them to only receive readings once a year. Do not allow clients to impose on you – for example, I never allow “quick questions” over the phone as this often leads to me getting an unpaid counseling/reading session with the client and gives them the impression that I am available for dumping at their convenience. Keep regular office hours. I’ve had clients show up at odd hours, demanding I see them because they were having a “crisis”. Now I won’t answer the door if it is not during my regular shift.
3. Learn some general counseling skills – Knowing how to talk to someone if they are having mental issues requires compassionate listening and a therapeutic attitude. There are many fine books about counseling skills. One that I like is “Becoming Naturally Therapeutic” by Jacquelyn Smith.
4. Refer to an expert – I keep phone numbers of good therapists and healers handy. If I have a client who is dealing with an issue that I am not qualified to handle, I make sure to direct them to the proper professional. Remember, if you are not a licensed therapist, it is in YOUR best interest to direct a distraught client to the correct help.
5. Be aware and stay calm – Sometimes we may not be sure of how deep seated a client’s issues are until we begin the reading. Years ago, I had a young woman come to my office and she seemed normal but a bit “odd”. In the middle of the reading, she began sobbing and saying things that were completely bizarre. I instantly realized that she was having a mental breakdown and got her calm. I gave her the number of the therapist and after she left, I called her mother (who was also a client) and alerted her to the daughter’s behavior. She was able to get treatment and is now doing fine.
6. Don’t entertain delusions – If a client begins saying things that seem crazy, do not just go along with it like it is normal. In other words, don’t placate delusions. I was in an occult shop once and a woman walked in, plopped herself down by the Satanist section and began reading a book in earnest. When she was asked if she needed help, she replied “I just took this quiz about Satanic witchcraft and it says I am a Satanic Witch.” While some of the staff started laughing, I began talking to her and discovered she had stopped taking her medication the day before. Putting the book back on the shelf, I encouraged her to visit her therapist and get back on her meds.
7. Show them the door – If the reading becomes creepy or uncomfortable, it may be time to show the client the door. Do not keep someone in your office, especially if they seem that they could become dangerous. I had an obsessive client that would call constantly and even showed up at my door, unannounced. I started to become frightened of him and had to tell him VERY firmly not to come around any longer and I had to threaten police involvement. That is a bit extreme but personal safety should not be compromised. If I feel a client may not be stable, I make sure to schedule an appointment when my husband is home. And I refuse to see anyone who is beyond my help or scary.
And remember – this will be rare. Most people who come for readings are wonderful, warm and grounded.
Blessings!
Theresa
www.thetarotlady.com
©The Tarot Lady | Theresa Reed
Nice post and a great reminder. I read for a woman. Her reading was very clear and I gave her my impressions..she agreed with some of it, offered more money in my basket to run the cards again. I started questioning her and found out that she was seeking readings from different readers at least weekly, sometimes several times a week. I found a way to end the reading, but I learned that as a reader I had to set boundaries and stick to them.
Many blessings!
Eartha
Sometimes people forget that ultimately, answers do reside in themselves. As readers we are simply here to guide them back to themselves and to remind them that they are divine.
It is difficult to set boundaries but we must. It is for the client’s own good plus it helps us to keep our objectivity. I hope your client got the help she needed.
Totally,
Nowadays, apart from the excellent advice you have already given, I like to ask a question after the reading proper is over.
1. What do you want to happen?
This is an excellent question to ask after you have completed the reading. It helps assess what they have ‘heard’compared to what has been said. It’s also a subtle way of reminding them that they are responsible for their lives.
Best regards,
Douglas
.-= Doug´s last blog ..Let the Tarot do all the Work? =-.
That is a brilliant idea! I’m going to try and remember to implement that in my readings!
Thank you,
Theresa
Great post
I remember doing a reading for a particular person, and in my opinion, I thought it went well; on hindsight..?
About four months later he asked for another reading and as I was dealing out the cards he informed that he’d spent the last month in a mental institute because things had got to much for him.
Experiences like that really hit home how careful we all have to be when giving a Tarot reading. Luckily, I haven’t had to many of those types of encounters; perhaps I learned my lesson
All the best,
Doug
.-= Doug´s last blog ..Let the Tarot do all the Work? =-.
Thank you. Your story illustrates perfectly why as readers we need to be uber-responsible with our words – but we also need to be extremely attentive to the client’s emotional state. If someone is fragile, a reading can either help or harm so it is our responsibility to make sure that it helps – especially to direct them to the right caregiver.
I am always shocked at readers who are extremely irresponsible with clients. I know a reader who does damage to people on a regular basis and I end up having to clean up her messes later. I once had a woman who came to me and she was obviously mentally ill. She told me the other reader was encouraging her to go into a catering business with an incarcerated man and that she no longer needed her meds. Oy vey!
But sometimes even if we are diligent, the client will hear what they want to hear, especially if they have mental problems. One time, I had a client who was on all types of meds – some for mental health and some for physical conditions. He asked if he would ever be off his meds. The cards showed “some”. So the guy proceeds to stop taking ALL his meds. It was all his family could do to get him back on! I no longer allow him to get a reading with me without a family member present.
Thank you so much for this post. I find it comforting to reinforce on a frequent basis that I’m not alone with this experience and it goes with the territory of being in a profession like this one!
I also have strategies, as I’m sure we all do, for clearing myself after each reading, and particularly after a crazy encounter… so that I still feel balanced.
All the best,
Liani.
.-= Liani´s last blog ..Tarot People #2: The Page of Cups, Reversed. (Emo Kid) =-.
Thank you for your comment, Liani. I have been doing this work a long time – the encounters with crazy people are few and far between. It is vital that a reader learn to take care of themselves as well as recognize when someone needs help that they cannot provide.
I hope over the years I am always able to be a source of compassionate but common sense guidance.
Blessings!
Theresa