Whether you read tarot for yourself or others, the environment can make all the difference in the quality of the reading. A calm, soothing atmosphere allows for an open, receptive mind, which is favorable for a good tarot reading.  It doesn't matter if you actually see clients in person or only do phone readings - the same principle applies. 

The Office

I'm fortunate that I am able to have an office where my clients can visit me directly.  I put my personal stamp on my place and it is comfortable for me.  There is almost no place I'd rather be than my office (well, except maybe the kitchen!).  If you decide to set up a space in your home or rent a space, here are a few tips to keep in mind:

1. Make it relaxed and welcoming.  Beautiful pictures, a homey decor and plenty of light lend a cozy vibe.  Have your table at a decent ergonomic height so no one has to hunch over it.  Get chairs that are comfortable enough but STURDY (I have had more than one chair destroyed by a bigger client).  A soft couch is a nice touch, especially in a waiting area.  Candles can soften the atmosphere but are not necessary.  Keep your office neat and clean.  Clutter can be distracting - try to keep it to a minimum especially on the surface you intend to read on.  (I'll admit to being rather cluttery myself but it's mostly books and I keep it contained well enough.)

2. Keep the temperature comfortable. If your office is too hot or too cold your client will not be able to relax.  You may end up having to pay extra in energy costs but this is worth it in my opinion.  I'd rather pay a few dollars to the energy man to insure my clients are happy.

3. Some tarot readers frown on "tinkly music" but I heartily disagree. I like to have relaxing new age or classical music playing in the background.  Many of my clients come here from work and this immediately soothes their frazzled nerves and helps to set a chilled out tone.

4. Incense is optional.  I keep this to a minimum as many people are allergic or just don't like the smell. If you really must burn it, consider doing it an hour before work - and keep the window slightly open to get rid of the smoke. Because people can be sensitive to scents, you may want to consider NOT wearing perfume. 

5. Pets can be adorable but also unpredictable.  You may want to keep Rover out of your office to avoid potential issues. I have two cats and one happens to be extremely obnoxious.  I'll allow them down at times but usually, they get the boot if they become unruly - or if a client is allergic or fearful.  Believe it or not, some of my clients actually REQUEST the cats sit in on the reading! 

6. Avoid the oogie boogie thing as much as possible.  In other words, you may want to keep your images and person rather neutral.  Some people are fearful enough walking into a tarot reading and anything too "spooky" could be a turn off.  In my own office, I have many religious pictures from the 1920's (a nod to my Catholic roots and my favorite era).  I always get a lot of compliments on them. But I also have a framed antique bisque baby doll that sometimes freaks out sensitive types until I explain to them that I bought it that way! And then there are some who actually prefer the gypsy witch experience and may be disappointed if you appear too "normal".  I've had a few that thought they'd walk in and I'd be wearing a turban....they were quite bummed out that wasn't the case. 

Phone Readings

1.  Make sure you are in a relaxed place so you can concentrate.  This means the baby is asleep, the dog is out of your hair, hubby isn't walking in and out and the television is off.  I find I need my environment super quiet if I am doing a reading over the phone.  I want to give all of my attention to the client - distractions destroy my ability to focus.

2. Be sure the client is in an equally relaxed place. I learned this the hard way. I had a few clients who would call me and then spend half the reading yelling at their children or spouse.  I now insist they schedule their appointment when they know they will not be disturbed.  I need the client to concentrate as much as I am because they are not here to shuffle the cards!

Parties and Public Places

You will have little to no control in this arena.  When you do anything at other people's homes, you are at their mercy.  I've done readings in freezing cold basements, sweltering bedrooms, screaming loud taverns, next to blaring speakers at a convention, and in a cockroach ridden mouse infested hellhole.  I've learned to be flexible but now set some boundaries as much as possible.

You can do a little "damage control" by asking your client in advance what the area will be like. If you are doing a major public event, insist on a quiet table away from the action.  Ask your hostess to put you in a separate room if possible.  Some tarot readers I know even bring their own tablecloths, crystals, candles and music to insure they are able to set a vibe they like!  As long as you and the querent can find a way to be relaxed, you may find that you can read your tarot anywhere!


Blessings!
Theresa
http://www.thetarotlady.com

Image from notlob86

PS That is NOT my office pictured above!  LOL Just a lovely picture.

© The Tarot Lady | Theresa Reed

Where do you read tarot?  What are your tips for creating the right atmosphere? I'd love to hear your suggestions!  Leave them in the comments section below!

        

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Most people who know me also know that in addition to reading tarot, I am an avid yogi and have been practicing for well over a decade.  About 6 years ago, I started to teach yoga and meditation so that I could share these gifts with others who are seeking a more enlightened life. 

Many Westerners think of yoga as an "exercise" program and begin taking classes in hopes of achieving the so-called "yoga butt".  I cringe inwardly at this idea because yoga is so much more than that.  In fact, the physical aspect of yoga is really only a tiny part.  Yoga has a rich history and deep philosophical roots.  For example, there are "8 limbs" of yoga - and each one gives us an idea of how to live more consciously.  When we bring awareness to our thoughts, words, breath, physicality, and actions, we can begin to reach "samadhi" (liberation), the ultimate goal.

The first limb consists of the "Yamas" (translated as "restraints"). These are the ethical principles that guide us on living in the outside world.  When we live a life that respects all and treats others with compassion, we can truly begin to live our dharma and find meaning in our lives. 

A majority of my contact with the outside world comes through my work.  How can I apply the Yamas to tarot reading? 

1. The first Yama - and probably the most important one - is AHIMSA - which means "non-violence" .  I'm not talking about  using the tarot as a physical weapon (I doubt a deck of 78 cards can do much damage on a human body)!  It's about actively practicing kindness and compassion with those who seek to use my services.   This can be accomplished by treating clients with respect as well as choosing words that are life affirming and positive.  A reader must be as tolerant, sympathetic and considerate as possible. If you have ever gone to a tarot reader that is negative and rude, you know how damaging that kind of vibe can be.  I'll never forget years ago a girlfriend and I went to see a very unhappy tarot reader who did nothing but project her bitterness on to us.  We walked out of there laughing because nothing she said applied or made sense.  It was obvious that she was down on her own life and wanted us to be as miserable as her.  For a vulnerable client, a reader like this can be very damaging.

2. The second Yama is SATYA, or "truth".  Honesty should guide every word that comes out of your mouth. In other words, a tarot reader must strive to deliver a truthful reading.  If you only tell the client what they want to hear, you are doing a disservice.  However, that does not mean being harsh with your delivery - once again, Ahimsa must be the cornerstone of every action.  You can deliver a candid tarot reading without being "brutal".  A heavy hand can be necessary on occasion but a "velvet sledgehammer" is always my preferred tool.  I also believe that you can practice Satya by being honest about your abilities.  Never pretend to be something that you are not. This could be as simple as knowing when you are not the right reader for a specific client.  This is humbling but if you get your ego out of it, you'll see that this is far better than thinking you can read for any and all who come your way.  It's not possible.  NO reader can do that.

3.  The third Yama is ASTEYA, translated as "non-stealing".  This can be best practiced with your fellow tarot readers.  For example, give credit where credit is due. Don't take the glory for something if you didn't do the work.  Always acknowledge your teachers and mentors for their assistance.  Avoid actively seeking out a fellow reader's clientele (there is enough work for everyone!).  This is a bad business practice born out of scarcity mentality.

4. The fourth Yama is BRAHMACHARYA, or "celibacy".  No, I'm not talking about it from a sexual point of view (however, sleeping with your clients is NOT a smart idea.  I know of one guy who used to do that and it brought him all kinds of trouble!). I'm talking about it from an "energy" viewpoint.  If you are constantly doing tarot readings without conserving some of your energy, you risk burnout - which is no good for you or your clients.  Restraining yourself here is wise and prudent. I adhere to a strict policy of only reading 4 days out of the week and limiting the number of clients I serve.  Maintaining healthy boundaries makes for a better tarot reader - and a better experience for your clients and a healthier business and life experience in general. 

5.  The last Yama is "APARIGRAHA" or "non-grasping".  You can practice Aparigraha by not "owning" your clients.  They are free to come and go as they please - and to seek a different reader if they should choose to do so for any reason.  A tarot reader should avoid pushy solicitation. There are some unethical readers that take it to an extreme by telling a client that they have a "curse" on them - and then offering to remove it for thousands of dollars!  Some of these con artists will resort to calling the client at home at all hours of the day and night.  This is unconscionable and downright criminal! NO ethical reader should EVER engage in such practices. 

My other favorite way of exercising Aparigraha is by being objective and "letting go of the readings". I actively work at detaching myself from the outcome - and when my work with a client is done, I also choose to let it go.  In other words, I do not obsess over the reading.  I close my chakras and move on to the next one without hanging on to what was.  I choose to live in the moment. That's how I roll.

Blessings!
Theresa
www.thetarotlady.com

What ethics or philosophies guide you as a tarot reader?  Leave your thoughts in the comment section below.

        

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Can I make a confession?  I've been waiting for this book with bated breath and was mighty envious that Douglas of Tarot Eon had his hands on a copy before I did. I'm usually not the jealous type but I was in full on coveting mode when I read his review.  I had to have it!  Immediate gratification!!!  Oh, the agony of waiting!  Finally the day came when the familiar Amazon smiley box arrived at my door and I got my paws around the long awaited book. 

I'm an old timer here in regards to tarot reading. I've been playing around with it for almost 30 years.  I've dealt with clients from all walks of life and answered every type of question that you can imagine.  But I still find myself learning and searching for new techniques (even though I am rather fond of my own methods!).  A few months ago, I got turned on to some excellent blogs from the UK that had some curious systems (card counting, Elemental Dignities, etc.)  that caught my eye and I've been intrigued ever since.  This book, "Beyond The Celtic Cross" by Paul Hughes Barlow and Catherine Chapman (two of the aforementioned bloggers) sheds light on these techniques and helps the reader to apply them in a way that can turn any tarot reading into a richer experience.

Written in a dialogue fashion between the two authors, we get to see these methods in action so to speak.  It begins with Catherine writing to Paul about a tarot reading that she was having trouble interpreting.  With Paul as her steady guide, they deftly maneuver through the different systems and demonstrate how to interpret with them using Catherine's reading as the example throughout the entire book.

Card Counting is very new to me and it was confusing to understand - but by following along with their example, it finally begun to sink in.  And yes - it does add a new dimension to tarot reading.  I had a basic understanding of Elemental Dignities but this book cleared up any lingering questions I had. I am a very visual learner and by having Catherine's reading to "see" what was happening, I put the pieces together and was able to understand where they got their interpretations.  This is a huge plus in my opinion. 

Not only do we get to see the methods in action but we get to see Catherine grow as a tarot reader and visionary.  This made the book a very personal experience, not just some old dry tarot book that would have bored me to tears.  I highly recommend this to any tarot reader - but especially to those who are looking to shake up their current reading style.  Trust me, you will never look at tarot the same!

Blessings!
Theresa

Learn more about the authors  and their techniques at their websites:

Paul Hughes Barlow at Supertarot
Catherine Chapman at Tarot Elements

Foreward written by:
Douglas Gibb at Tarot Eon

The Tarot Lady | © The Tarot Lady 2010 | www.thetarotlady.com

        

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A few years ago, I was sitting in my office when suddenly a flash came before my eyes.  I darted upstairs to breathlessly tell my husband "I just had a vision!  Someone is going to give me monkey socks!"  He looked at me quizzically and then continued on with what he was doing.  Months later, one of my clients sat down for a reading and casually said  "I have a present for you" and proceeds to hand me a pair of green socks with monkeys on them!  I almost fell out of my chair as I quickly ran upstairs to excitedly show my husband.  "Great... my wife can predict a pair of monkey socks but not the winning lottery numbers." he replied with a smirk and rolling eyes.

Living with a psychic has taken some of the element (and excitement) of surprise away from him.  I've even managed to ruin many a birthday and holiday as  I am such a good gift guesser that he must now resort to elaborate schemes to get me off the scent.  I often will deliver an answer before he even utters the question.  So he no longer gets a thrill when I have a "vision".  When every day is prediction day, it becomes second nature and rather common. 

Thank goodness my clients never tire of it though or I'd be talking to a blank wall.  Working as a tarot reader has allowed me to utilize my intuition in a way that can aid my clients and help them to navigate life's ups and downs with a bit more grace.  However, I have noticed that "fortune telling" has fallen out of favor in my line of work.  Many tarot readers and other intuitives shy away from it.  Why?

One reason is that some modern tarot authors have presented the tarot as a tool for psychoanalysis - and a new trend of using tarot not as a fortune telling device but as a method of therapy has become very popular.  Some authors prescribe to an "interactive" style of tarot reading where the querent looks at the cards and tells the reader what they mean to them, turning a tarot session into a therapy session.  While this can be helpful in many cases, the art of prediction gets lost in the process. 

An argument I have heard is that fortune telling is "disempowering" or "unethical".  How?  Its been said that a predicted event implies that the querent has "no control" over their lives.  As a huge believer in free will, I find this to be nonsense. After all, nothing is cut in stone.  In my opinion, having an idea of what may transpire empowers a client in a major way.  It's like doing a road trip with a map.  If you have an idea of where you are going, can't you decide if you want to go down a different path if you don't like the view?  And isn't that easier to do when you have the map in hand?

Another consideration is the ego factor.  We tarot readers tend to be a sensitive lot. Some are not comfortable with the idea that they'll be proven wrong. Like weathermen, we look at the patterns and make predictions to the best of our abilities. It is definitive fact that only a certain percentage of our predictions will truly hit the mark.  That is why this is not work for lightweights or people who are controlled entirely by their egos. It takes a fair amount of cojones to make a prediction. A thick skin is mandatory because in this line of work you're fair game, and many people will WANT you to be wrong.  Using the tarot as therapy may be safer in some ways, but you shouldn't let the "fear of being wrong" inhibit you from making predictions and giving your client's reading the full breadth and depth that could provide them the insight they need to guide their lives in a truly practical way. 

It may be intimidating to use the tarot to predict  But think about it this way - why do people come to see psychics, tarot readers and astrologers?  They come to learn about future events.  Not providing this service to a client is akin to visiting a dentist who talks about cleaning your teeth rather than actually doing it.


Blessings!
Theresa
www.thetarotlady.com

I'd love to hear your thoughts about predicting.  Leave your comments below! 

        

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I have to confess something.  I'm a wee bit OCD.  I've never been actually diagnosed but it is obvious to me as some of my habits are a bit repetitive.  In fact, most morning are like Groundhog's Day around here.   Maybe it's the Catholic girl in me but I enjoy doing things in a systematic and ritualistic manner. 

In fact, there is very little in my life that is unplanned.  Odd for a Gemini and a free spirit, eh?  Perhaps that feeling of structure keeps me calm and grounded (or maybe there is a little Joan Crawford burning deep in my heart?). 

Some of my weird little invented customs do produce magical results though.  Let me share my secret little New Years Ritual with you as an example.  I've been doing it for years now and I swear it works almost too well.  Here's what I do - first, I check my numerology for the year and find out what my "yearly number" will be.  (This is the number that defines the overall tone of the year.)  It's not hard to figure out and you don't have to be a math whiz to do it.  For example, I am born on June 11.  Since next year will be 2010, I am going to add the numbers from my birthday to 2010 and reduce it all down to a single digit:

6+1+1+2+0+1+0 = 11
Reduce 1+1 = 2

So my number for 2010 is a 2 year.  Next, I find out the "theme" for the year based on the number.  I HIGHLY recommend you check out Chris Delorey's Creative Numerology site to read her interpretations for your year.  Her descriptions are very detailed and accurate.  (http://creativenumerology.com/index.php?inc=includes/yearlycycles.html)  According to Chris, a 2 year is about slowing down, developing patience and relationships. 

Based on that information, I pick a "theme song" - perhaps Guns and Roses "Patience" or The Eagles "Take It Easy" (I actually won't be using either of those as my theme song is always top secret plus I hate those songs!).  At exactly Midnight when the year changes, I listen to my theme song (with the advent of You Tube I now get to watch it as a video!).  And voila - the tone is set and the magic begins for me!  It is interesting to see how my year develops - often I will listen to the theme song to reinforce the magic - or something will happen and I'll immediately think of the song. 

But a sage word of advice - I learned the HARD way to be VERY careful in my song choices.  Sometimes this works a little too well and if the song is a bummer in any way, I can guarantee that those vibes are very much in play.  I choose now as carefully as if I were choosing to write my will!  If you try this little ritual, I'd love to know your results (if you think it is weird or cheesy, just humor me, okay?).  Or post your own New Years Eve rituals in the comments section below - I'd love to hear what you do on this magical night!

Blessings!
Theresa
www.thetarotlady.com

Image from blogs.smarter.com

PS Don't forget that this new years we end with a Full Moon, Blue Moon and Lunar Eclipse - the potential for powerful change is in the air - think big!




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In my last post I wrote about getting a great tarot reading.  But what about how to GIVE one?  Many new readers struggle with this and I get asked all the time for advice.  Whether you are a tarot reading newbie or an old pro, here are a few tips to help you give awesome tarot readings:

1.  Ground yourself.  No matter how talented you are, if you are not calm and present, your readings will suffer.  It is imperative that your mind is in a good place so the information you receive will be accurate and not tainted by your moods or issues.  I highly recommend that you learn to meditate. A consistent meditation practice will center your mind, allowing for more focus and a better connection to your own inner wisdom.  If you are the ansty type (I am), take up yoga.  It has a wonderful way of "tricking" you into a meditative state.  Every day I do a yoga practice and meditate.  I can personally attest that it has helped my readings immensely.

2.  Prep your environment.  Be sure the place you read in is tranquil and clean.  Although I am a cluttery gal, I keep my office neat and free of messy distractions.  I like to burn a little incense to create a nice vibe and I play some soft music in the background.  Candles and crystals are also a nice touch for creating a spiritual mood.  My clients often remark that my office is soothing. 

3.  Uncross your legs and arms.  This sounds silly but if you like to sit with crossed feet or arms, it can "block energy".  Plant your feet firmly on the ground and refrain from a closed off stance.  I sometimes like to put my feet up on another chair.  While this may not be totally grounding, it is relaxing for me.

4.  Get rid of unnecessary distractions.  In other words, if you have unfriendly dogs, screaming kids or a nosy spouse, scoot them out of your room.  I have two friendly cats that can really be a pain.  At times I will allow them in the office (some clients even insist on their presence!), but when they get too obnoxious, they get the boot!

5.  Be sober.  No one enjoys a cocktail as much as I do - however, a tipsy tarot reader is never a good thing. You need to be conscious in order to receive information properly.  (I know of one psychic who did a reading for two senior citizens while he was tripping on acid!  He said it was NOT a groovy experience as he could barely function!)  If you like to imbibe, do it after your work.  Your clients deserve a fully functional reader!

6.  Practice often.  The best tarot readers constantly practice to perfect their art. Whether this means doing readings on a regular basis or learning new techniques from other sources, keep on practicing. The more you do it, the better you will get.  Read for everyone who is interested. 

7.  Get your ego out of it.  If you are worried about "being wrong" or on the other hand enamored with your own abilities, you are bound to fail.  Learn to be neutral.  Deliver information without attaching your emotions, ego, or need for validation to the reading.  Simply read.

Happy tarot reading!
Theresa
www.thetarotlady.com

© The Tarot Lady | Theresa Reed | www.thetarotlady.com

What are your tips for giving a good tarot reading? Share them in the comments section!
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I get asked a lot about my work - not just about what it means to be a tarot reader but about the cards and readings in general.  One of the things clients seem to be most concerned about is how to get the most out of their tarot reading.  Here is a little sage advice I like to pass on for anyone who is considering visiting a tarot reader:

1.  I always suggest that people bring a list of questions that are important to them.  The reason why - you may get so wrapped up in what the tarot reader is saying that you walk out without asking your most significant questions (it has happened to me!).  Reflect on the issues that are the most crucial and write them down.  This way, you insure the reading focuses on relevant things.

2.  Avoid getting a reading if you are in a distressed state.  You will not hear a word the reader is saying.  The best time to get a reading is when you are calm and able to be mentally present. 

3. Try not to interrupt the reader.  For myself, the information comes like a ticker tape in my mind and when a client repeatedly interrupts, it breaks the flow of information.  Wait until it is time to ask your questions (I always allow a generous period to ask questions).

4.  Tape your reading.  This is a great idea for those who tend to be forgetful.  If you have a recorder,  bring it.  Most tarot readers won't mind.  (I personally hate the sound of my own voice - but hey, I'm not listening to it so tape away!)  Otherwise, a notepad is another option. Some of my clients will even bring a buddy along who acts as a "secretary" and takes notes for them!

5.  Keep an open mind and attitude.  If you come into a reading with a "prove it to me" stance, you are setting a tone which is not conducive.  In fact, some of us find it downright rude!  I am not saying you should spill your life story when you walk in the door (I never encourage that either), but relax, uncross your arms and don't be so defensive.  Personally, I find it puzzling when someone comes in for a tarot reading but does everything possible to drag a red herring all over the place. What is the point? To prove the reader is wrong? Or to really "make them work"?   RELAX.  A relaxed YOU leads to a clear reading and allows the tarot reader to do their work without feeling like they have a gun to their head.

6.  And most importantly, choose a tarot reader you TRUST.  Best way to find a good one? Word of mouth.  Listen to other people's experiences and then decide if the reader is a good fit for you. 

Happy tarot reading!
Blessings!
Theresa
www.thetarotlady.com

© The Tarot Lady | Theresa Reed | www.thetarotlady.com

        

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Although I consider myself first and foremost a tarot reader, I am also a professional and I tend to be very business like in my dealings.  Most people who have worked with me know that I run my ship tightly - not only do I have regular hours like any job but my days can consist of all manner of tedious tasks from bookkeeping to returning calls and emails.  (It's not all glamorous tarot work that I do here in my hub!)

As a business professional, I have to be realistic that not every person that calls or walks in the door is meant to be a lifetime client.  As I wrote in my previous post, some people may never come back for whatever reason.  But there are also times when I have had to show someone the door.  As much as I hate doing this (believe it or not, my bark is worse than my bite!), it is often not only beneficial for me but sometimes in the best interest of the client.

When is it right to "fire" a client?

Any tarot reader will have their own reasons why. For me, it all comes down to two things - respect and compatibility.  Here are some of the reasons I have needed to cut a client off:

1.  No shows. This is my number one pet peeve.  A client who doesn't even have the courtesy to give me a simple phone call to cancel never gets another chance.  There are some who think I am sitting here with nothing else to do.  Believe me, I can either fill that spot if you didn't show - or there are many other projects I can busy myself with (like writing this blog!).  To me, this is the rudest gesture as I make this time available and find it incredibly disrespectful. 

2.  Dickering over prices. I hate haggling.  I don't even do it when I travel.  I know in some cultures, this is a common thing, but for me, it feels uncomfortable.  If you can't afford me, then don't come.  Simple as that.  A woman who had booked a few parties with me in the past tried to tell me that "no one will pay that" when my prices changed - and then she tried to negotiate a price break.  I refused to do business with her ever again.  If you provide a service, you should be paid well for your time.  I learned this from my son's drum instructor.  Years ago, he had also changed policies and this required a steep price hike. When I  visibly gulped, he said to me: "The lessons are free.  It is my time you are paying for and I value my time very much."  I used that as a business mantra ever since.

3.  Using the tarot reading in an unethical way. I am not a moralist but I do not want my readings used in any way but for someone's higher good.  Once they leave the office, I have no control over what a client may do with the information I provide.  On rare occasion, I do hear through the grapevine that someone may have twisted my words to suit a purpose.  For example, a married man got a reading from me and wanted to know if he could "have an affair".  The reading said he "could" if he was so inclined.  So what does he do?  Proceeds a few weeks later to hit on a woman and tell her that  "Theresa the tarot reader said I should have an affair so I'm looking for a woman".  Unfortunately for him, she was a friend of mine and reported back to me.  Banned for life. 

4.  Personality conflicts.  Sometimes for no fault of the client or mine, our personalities don't mesh.  If I am uncomfortable with a person's vibe, I won't read for them.  The reading won't work well if I am tense.  This is never easy but I must face the facts that I cannot possibly read for every person.  For example, aggressive or super neurotic types don't wash for me (I also don't read well for "Debbie Downers").  I will generally refer them to a more suitable tarot reader.  In my opinion,  is better to bring them to a person who will be more sympathetic to their energy rather than struggle through the reading myself. 

5.  They are beyond your ability to help.  This is a case where someone may need more help that you can give them - for example someone who needs psychiatric care.  I used to see a woman who was in an abusive relationship.  She would only come to me when they broke up - and her questions revolved around whether or not her abuser would come back to her.  (He always did, unfortunately.) She never wanted to get any help to change her situation - she was only concerned about preserving this sick dynamic at all costs.  No amount of tarot readings were going to break the cycle she had created for herself. This was too hard for me to deal with and beyond my ability to reach into her and crack open this vicious cycle she was actively pursuing.  This is a sign that someone needs professional  help.  I gave her the number of a good therapist and refused to see her again.  (All readers should not provide legal, medical or psychiatric services - have a list of appropriate resources handy for referrals if you encounter someone who needs to seek professional help.)

Ultimately, it all comes down to healthy boundaries and mutual respect.  While this is an intuitive and often times emotionally charged business, it IS still a business.  If you are working as a tarot reader, it is up to you to decide who you can serve and how best you can serve them with policies that create appropriate boundaries and a fair and clear presentation that allows clients to know what they can expect. 

Blessings!
Theresa
www.thetarotlady.com

©The Tarot Lady | Theresa Reed

image from buzzpal.wordpress.com/

        

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A few weeks ago, I had a client call me in a panic.  "I cheated on you" she breathlessly proclaimed as she launched into a tale of woe about an experience with another tarot reader.  Cheating on me? That dramatic statement made me laugh but it got me wondering.  Why do clients go to other readers, especially if they claim to like your services?  Why do some leave, never to be heard of again?  And more importantly, what are my own feelings regarding "loyalty"?

A client may decide that they want to visit another reader for some of the following reasons:

1.  They want a second opinion.  Perhaps they are a Nervous Nelly  type that needs a lot of confirmation.  Or maybe they don't feel your read is accurate for them and may want to see if someone else says something more to their liking.  There are even a few that will go from reader to reader to reader - until they get the answer they want.  (This is rather obsessive in my opinion.)

2.  They may want to try something different.  I am mainly a tarot reader.  If someone is looking for deep chart analysis, past life regressions, mediums, dream interpretations or palmistry, they may be better off seeking the services of a specialist.  I am not all things to all people (I'd like to be, but am wise enough to know my own limits!).

3. They can't wait.  Oftentimes, my schedule is jam packed.  This can leave a client in a bad position if they need a reading pronto.  So, they may look around to find someone who is more available.  Also, a client who lives at a distance may want to meet with someone in their area.  If I could astral travel, I would - but that ain't happening.

Why would a client leave permanently? 

1.  Budget woes.  Whenever I raise my rates (which is rare),  there is always a little fallout.  People sometimes can't afford it - or feel angered that I am not at the prices I was at 20 years ago.  I had one lady yell at me and hang up the phone when I told her my new rates.  She never called again (although if she did, I would have fired her in a heartbeat!).

2.  Personality clashes.  I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going type.  But on occasion, a person may walk in the door and feel that I am not in sync with them.  And vice versa.  Pushy and aggressive types don't seem to stick around me very much (this makes me quite happy).  Super negative types also tend to slink away if I don't reinforce their crummy world view. On a few rare occasions, a client has suddenly become super religious and decided I was "evil".  That pretty much nipped any relationship we had in the bud.

3. You offended them. This can happen quite innocently.  The reading starts off fine but all of a sudden, you drop an F bomb or say something that  makes the client squirm.  Remember the androgynous SNL character, Pat? Well, I had one sit in front of me when I was reading at an occult shop years ago.  For some puzzling reason that I still cannot fathom, I opened my mouth and these words tumbled out before I could catch myself  "What are you?".  She was a she - and she had a great sense of humor about it but was obviously deeply hurt by my remark.  I recovered and did a decent reading but she never came to see me again. I would run into her in the shop, we'd nod but pretty much avoid each other.  Politics and religious talk can also alienate clients - so you may need to keep some of your beliefs to yourself.

4.  Your reading sucked.  You may think you are a tarot superstar but sooner or later, you'll run into that one person you couldn't read.  And yup, to them, your reading was "way off" or "crappy". This is a huge blow to the ego but it happens to all of us.  You can't read for everyone.  There are lots of reasons why this could happen - an off day, a lack of vibe between you, they may be closed minded, etc. And some people will think you stink even if you are accurate because they simply don't want to believe.  Get over it. 

How to handle it? 

The first thing to learn: don't take anything personally.  This requires a lot of inner work and a good dose of humility.  And I don't mean false humility: the "it's not me, only spirit doing the readings through me" statements that are so frequently tossed about.  I mean REAL soul searching humility that requires you to take responsibility for your readings. Realize your own limitations as a reader and be realistic about your client's needs.  Know that you will at times offend, disappoint, piss off and even do a poor job.  This comes with ANY profession.  Let go, brush yourself off, laugh and move on.

Secondly, practice the law of non-grasping.  This simply means that you must acknowledge that your clients have free will and don't owe you anything.  Respect them as independent, intelligent human beings who will always know what is in their OWN best interest.  If they are not happy with your services, recommend them to someone that may be a better fit.  This is not only good for them but for YOU. 

I've been grateful over the years for the many clients that continue to use my services.  Some have been with me since my humble beginnings almost 20 years ago.  I am always thankful for their support. A few have even become dear friends.  But I am equally appreciative for the ones who have taught me lessons and made me learn the art of non-attachment.  I go with the flow and could not have learned to do this without them. 

Blessings!
Theresa
www.thetarotlady.com

Watch for "You Don't Own Me Part Two - When To Fire A Client" soon!

©The Tarot Lady | Theresa Reed

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